my sisters under your porch take her home
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
