I have demons in me.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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