She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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