I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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