The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
