if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
