3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love having hate sex.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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