My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
