Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
