I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
