after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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