And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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