If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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