dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
barbara walters just said penis...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
