Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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