If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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