I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
