I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
