Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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