Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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