paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
