She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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