Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
