I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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