we're chasing vodka with high fives
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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