Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
