That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
