i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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