He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
