whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
