Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
