she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
