I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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