that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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