Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
