So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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