I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize