don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
