So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
