Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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