my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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