I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
