Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
