I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
