on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How does one acquire holy water?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
