why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
