I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
