I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize