I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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