All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
