Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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