I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
