oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We are two peas in an std pod
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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