Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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