Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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