If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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