I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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