Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize