I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
