if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
