We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
