i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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