??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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