You made me cry and you don't even care
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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