New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
