if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
