I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
