I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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