After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
