we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
